Engagement is something that our culture celebrates and endorses as a time of bliss, excitement and joy. When joining lives there are many things to celebrate; a new future, begining a new identity and joining another family. What is often down played and suppressed by our society is the other side of getting married. Marriage involved many transitions, some of which can be stressful and even sad.

Married life is different that single life; even for people that co-habitate. There are three major differences for individuals after they’ve tied the knot:

1.) Before you marry, if you want to leave or break up you can walk away pretty simply. After the wedding you have entered a legal contract Separation will be much more complicated and possilby costly. So, there is a higher level of commitment and invest to the relationship.

2.) You have taken on a new role; your old identity (and possibly your last name) is gone. You will be know socially as So & so’s wife or Mrs. Smith from now on. This may seem like a minor change, but it is actually a transition in your identity and likely to be strongly impacted by your ideals on what being a wife (or husband) means.

3.) You are officially part of a new family. His parents and siblings are now your family as well. Holidays, birthdays and events will shared with these people from here on. It is important to make an effort to join with his family and become a member, not just an outsider that shows up at gatherings. If you have been dating your partner for a while this will likely be a smooth and natural transition. In the event that it is not: there is mutual responsbility between you and them to create an atmosphere as cooperation and acceptance.

The transition from engaged to married is a little different for everyone.  But keep the details above in mind when you return from you honeymoon to find that things aren’t exaclty the same as before the wedding.