It may seem a little strange at first to think of Anger as valuable, but if you look a little closer…it makes sense.  When you feel angry it is usually in response to a situation where you feel that your needs or wants are being sacrficed/denied.  For many women this feeling naturally goes from anger straight to sadness or defeat.  It is often such a quick transition that the woman may not even recognize that she was ever angry. This reflexive sadness is a way that women try to preserve relationships by avoiding conflict. In fact it does quite the opposite; t can begin a passive-aggressive pattern of denying feelings and then randomly lashing out or blowing up.

It is vital to learn to cultivate awareness of anger in our lives- it has a purpose. Anger tells us when we feel as though we are being treated unfairly or disrespected. Use this awareness to help create better communication, healthier boundaries, and more fulfilling relationships.

Socially, it is unacceptable to be an angry woman- there are tons of unflattering names for women that express anger-nag, shrew, and few others that I won’t mention.  But being angry does not mean that you have to act out in aggressive ways. I am not encouraging you to act on your anger; yell, scream or name call, but to simply recognize it and become curious about it. Use it to define what you want or need. Then take respectful action to get it.  For more information on the Value of Anger check out Harriet Lerner’s The Dance of Anger.