Have you ever worked with someone that was a trouble-maker?

Recently, I worked with an IT specialist named Andrew who has been having problems with a co-worker. The funny thing is that Andrew didn’t even know there were problems until last week, but his co-worker has been trash talking about him (to upper management) for months.

At first Andrew was shocked and then after that wore off, he became angry. His told me he was thinking of “escalating the problem” and opting to take the situation to HR.  I urged him to reconsider. Any negative paper work if your HR file is there to stay, regardless of who the guilty party really is.

Here are 4 guidelines to avoid drama with co-workers, especially ones that start arguments:

1.)  Be direct and straightforward– If you hear that a co-worker is talking about you behind your back or has a problem with you, ask him/her directly. If you include other people, especially your boss, the disagreement only intensifies and the conflict worsens.

2.)  Stay solutions focused– Rather than hashing out the past of who said what and did what to whom, keep your conversation with the co-worker focused on the future. Specifically, what your interactions with this person could look like. Ex: “John, I understand that we’ve had some misunderstandings, but I’m really interested in how we could get along better in the future? ”

3.)  Resist the urge to fight back– Engaging in talking about anyone behind their back, even in a effort to defend yourself, can cause you to appear equally as childish as the person that began the conflict.  Choosing not to respond to low blows makes it hard for the conflict to worsen.

4.)  Go to your boss– If you’re unable to resolve the problem directly with your co-worker, check in with your boss. State that you are aware that there may be some misunderstandings going around the office related to you. Offer to answer any questions or provide information that may be helpful in clarifying things. This positions you as aware, direct and mature. Do not start the conversation with “ I heard that Sam has been saying that I…… and that is just not true!” If there is bad press going around about you, your boss will know what you’re talking about with you bringing up the specifics.

Co-workers that are constantly negative and worry about what everyone else is doing are toxic. You will want to keep a safe distance from them as much as possible. Unfortunately, sometimes you’ll still get caught in their antics. Use these 4 tips to help you get out of this sticky situation without looking bad.